Yer have her keep in mind them's born to it - not elected. They inherited land, properties, titles, baubles, boats, cars, coaches, privilege an expectation. They are exempt from a lot of laws ordinary folk have ter abide by. There's debate as to whether they need servants ter dress them or wipe their arses after they've used the royal nettie. Pooblic appearances are stage managed like pantomime pageantry. Its rare tha they ever go off script an when they doos (think Filthy Phil, Randy Andy, affairs, public inebriation, gambling, toe sucking, walking aboot with nae kit on at parties or on yachts, massacring wildlife, wanting ter marry an oik, telling oos peasants ter fark orf!), there's folk ter clear oop the messes and make them go away. Rags that will write rubbish about the myth of royalty being decent, upright and being all about serving the people. An some how we get suckered inta tha its all aboot public service, duty and keeping charities afloat while pressing the flesh of ordinary folk, as long as they bow and scrape in the proper way. Ah always loved the story of James 1 arriving in London to be coronated, wanting ter lower the window of his gilded coach ter show the crowds the disdain of his naked royal arse. At least he had an honest thought.
So when ah hears folk talking on aboot Lizzie's 'long service', ah acknowledge she worked hard at being 'A Royal'. Boot ah also think that were supported by long term scavenging from pooblic purse. What were the qualities she brought to being queen? Keeping a stiff upper lip and never showing emotion? Really? While the world falls apart around you (well ootside yer palaces, castles and stately piles of bricks and manicured lawns). We have learned tha never expressing emotion is bad fer yer boot Lizzie wasted her whole life being seen as po-faced. Tha might deserve a medal - on the level of folk deserved a car tha could keep their hand on it the longest competitions - we now see and know tha were just exploitative and daft. An wha use is a stiff upper lip? When yer have a family tha is a motley collection of boofheads and plankton in gumboots an full length oilskin jackets. They gives a sea of ink ter the gutter press and now television an streaming services. There is a reason why the family liked to call themselves the Firm.
Boot what was she other than a costly figurehead? Lizzie had 70 years in job of Queen. There are folk tha says she made the world a better place. How so? Other than her and her family's right to rule and maintain privilege, when did she ever fight fer summat? The closest were in Second War when she drove trucks. As queen she did nowt boot rigidly keep the status quo. Being seen ter do nothing, have no opinion, is in my view a waste of a life and a misuse of a position from which she could have done some good. Aye behind closed doors mind you with private secretaries she interfered with politics boot never in support of the ruled masses. See the Whitlam letters fer how she interfered in the politics of Australia. Fer tha she were not held ter account, fighting the release of information tha might have undermined her reputation as unbiased. Aye I wonder how she would have managed Jeremy Corbyn if he had been elected prime-minister instead of yon Boris, who was mooch more of her class! Aye, I din nae see her go down an have a cup of tea with miners wives during miners strike.
In reality she were nowt more than a powerful, entitled rich lady, who just got richer - her monies and wealth passed onto her family, not 'her' country. A child of an equally stiff prince who later became king. She were conservative and rigid ter her marrow, liked nags, corgis,wellies and headscarves and would kill fer her blood family. (See the lengths she went to support Randy Andy (HRRA), who comes across as an arrogant dickhead and brat with an overdeveloped sense of his own entitlement and loves being seen in a good uniform.) There was no sign of sympathy or compassion for the wee girl HRRA was alleged to have had underage sex with. I doubt Lizzie ever spent time helping out at women refuge. Nor did she step in ter stop the travesty for Windrush folk being illegally deported when most had paid the UK government more tax than she and her brood.
Nae she were a paper person. A familiar head on a postage stamp, on coins and notes. Allus beautifully dressed and groomed on public stage. Aye boot did she ever pay fer a frock in her life? True she dressed like me aunties but more upmarket and with bling tha would have kept them in bingo winnings fer life. An' did she return stolen gems set in her crowns and jewellery? Did she bollocks! Aye there's a lot of blood money tied oop in her jewellery box!
A key performer in all manner of pomp and ceremony tha cost the public purse costing squllions where nowt was to go wrong, less some toady lose their head fer compromising the royal dignity and brans. Loot, time and resources tha would ha been better spent on school dinners, paying lecky bills fer oldies or subsidising a living wage. Not shovelin down lavish meals while glittering with baubles stolen from the time when her great grannie were Empress of half the wurld. Oh those maps at school where half the wurld were coloured pink. Dead proud we were until we grew up, went ter places that were 'her' colonies and saw how mooch the crown and its pals, government and business had taken as plunder and excise.
Niver did she express shame or regret fer the damage her family caused in amassing their wealth and maintaining their throne and royal birthright. Nae boony lads and lasses, Mrs Windsor did not leave the world a better place from her time in it. Despite the malarkey of stories of all the good she did behind her closed curtains. A friend of Nelson Mandela. Really? Most have missed the visit she made when he were incarcerated at Robben Island. I suspect, other than the competition around size of handbags, she would have been closer to Thatcher or admiring of the dashing Pinochet (he also liked strutting about in a good uniform). Mind you he was a foreigner and you get the impression she was not too fond of foreigners unless they knew their place. The Lizard of Oz (Paul Keating) did at least pat her on the bum during a royal tour down under (okay her back, boot yer cannot handle the royal goods colonial boy- likely she had ter scrub the DNA out fer weeks in case it tainted royal blood).
An then those Christmas fireside speeches when whole nation came to a stop ter listen ter the comforting words of their betters. Joost like one of oos, crooned our biddies as she sat by firelight surrounded by a huge castle patrolled by six foot six Scots guardsmen who gargled using aviation fuel and could kill a prole with one flick of their sporran. At least one year were about having a horrible anus an ah don't think she were channeling James 1. (By the by - they we're not related. Him Scots French Stuart, and she German). Bloodlines were often tenuous to country they ruled or were set to rule - like the bloody Belgians. It was all a bit dodgy boot families will do owt ter get their faces on biscuit tins and porcelain plates.
Ah ha niver seen royal folk close oop, so canna say whether they live like some demented version of Coronated Street boot ah have seen the next tier down in ma brief time of seventeen years living in England (two tours of dooty). The chinless wonders of aristocracy, the landed gentry, strutting their entitlement and puffed up with importance. Theys allus held the default position of looking down on the likes of oos, being summat better through birthright. They tended to be core tory. Loved the trappings of Empire, Union Jack waving and their small island home, with the pastoral views across parkland from their stately piles of brick (full of loot they had plundered from across the Commonwealth) and served by the lower classes tha crushed oonder their horse riding boots. Theys were mighty, superior and their position hereditary. The ruling class who got richer on the sweat of working men and women. Coal barons. Landowners and worse, slum landlords with obscene swathes of badly maintained property. Blue blood. Boot aye, it were the red blood of ordinary folk that keeps them in power. There were wasted opportunities in English political history where the rulers might have been held ter account by the ruled through revolution.
As a bairn they dismissed me as an oik. A gutter rat and worse, one who did not know his place. See I learned that no one is better than anyone else. Least of all someone who joost happened ter have their sperm and egg mixed on the silver spoon of privilege. Yer earned respect. Ah left England the first time with a chip on me shoulder aboot class, it were the size of tha Christmas tree they used to put oop in Trafalgar Square boot without lights or tinsel. At fifteen a did not know of entitlement, joost tha the class divide in England were wrong. In Geordie land we spilled blood te keep the royals on their thrones. Soldiers and sailors we gave oop an nee all were willing such as the infamous press gangs as descibed by the Unthanks "Here's the tender commin' pressin' northern men." Nee, ah have little sympathy fer the passin' of their queen.
Aye an' tha yer canna dissent or yer will be arrested! The coppers in London wanted ter arrest a lawyer for holding oop a sign sayin' "Not My King" and arrested a man in Scotland fer callin oot Randy Andy as a dirty ole gadgee! He were joost been' truthful. Well polis would, would na' they? Its a proud job being a wooden top keeping' the great unwashed in line when they are in the presence of their betters. Better than dealin' with thems that really causes damage ter social fabric sooch as rapists, murderers, fascists an dishonest MPs.
Boot folk have a right to protest at the huge waste of monies joost been chucked around. Bollocks ter them saying its joost not reet! Protesting when nation is mourning and yon Windsors are grieving. Aye mourn the passing of yer mam, gran boot this is aboot the pomp and splendour of grieving in the public eye when Britain is off ter hell in a handcart. People canna afford her pay power bills, ter eat and this is a family tha pays booger all ter nowt in taxes using public money ter mourn and bury one of their own. They may be grieving, she were there mam and gran boot it were stage managed ter keep the Firm relevant and show the rest of oos, bu birthright - the house of Windsor continues to rule - because we let them. Mabbe its time fer a change. Consign royalty ter rubbish bin of history, where we can look back and think did folk wait fer hours by side of road and get hysterical fer a royal wave as some big black car shoots past.
Remembrance and protest in Oz
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| Queenie on wall in Sydenham |
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| Bombed with Aboriginal Flag |
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| Bucket of black paint flung at Flag |
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| Trying to make it all better boot she is not our queen |
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