A survivor of Treblinka and the Warsaw uprising: Samuel Willenberg born 16 February 1923 died in Israel 19 February 2016

From Wikipedia

There are men and there are men. Samuel Willenberg is a lion of a man and I shed a tear and felt the world become a bit smaller when I heard he had died in Israel on 19 February 2016. Not because at 93 he had not lived a long life, he had. But as he said he had two lives. The life of now and the one before and the one before was the near ten months he survived the death camp of Treblinka. He was sent there in October 1942. Samuel Willenberg put his survival down as pure chance. It is estimated nearly 900,000, mostly Jews were murdered at Treblinka in its short and brutal existence. Samuel Willenberg was also one of a small number of people who survived the escape from Treblinka on 2 August 1943. The uprising included breaking into the SS armoury and taking weapons so as to be able to fight.
Shot in the leg he was still able to make his escape into woodlands and find the Polish resistance army. Later he took part in the August 1944 Warsaw uprising, another brutal death fight, survived. Warsaw was also where he met his wife Ava and started the now. The now included bearing witness to the atrocity that is Treblinka, images he captured in drawings and sculptures.

From Vad Yasham

His father Perec Willenberg a teacher and artist, his mother Maniefa Popow converted to Judaism following her marriage to Perec. Both survived the Second Worl War but Samuel Willenberg's sisters were murdered in Treblinka. In what must have been a moment of intense trauma he described finding the coat of one of his sisters in his job of sorting clothes at Treblinka. The coat was unique and by its empty presence he knew they were dead.

Of the many powerful images he created as an artist. To help others remember, himself to immortalise the small acts of courage and even beauty in those last moments. Things the Nazis could not steal or despoil. Such as the sculpture of the father helping his young son to undo his shoelaces to remove his shoes is ordinary; a touching example of parental care -  a shared moment of intimacy captured by the artist. Until you realise this was at Treblinka and a scene witnessed by Samuel Willenberg before both father and son were murdered in this factory of death. Then its poignancy is overwhelming.

From Sydney Herald "Who do you think you are" episode

Samuel Willenberg has been in a number of documentaries relating his experiences. This one on SBS (Australia) with Andrew Denton (an episode of Who Do You Think You Are?) was moving. It is worth spending recorded time in the memory of this man and his words remain an inspiration and an eternal flame to decency - not to mention he was a curmudgeon and entertainer as well as historian and archivist of memories.

And Treblinka? It remains beyond comprehension. Samuel Willenberg has described and drawn its shape, given it a visual identity. As all that remained following its erasure by the Nazis and their collaborators was an empty space surrounded by woods and a farm. To embark on such evil and then set out to remove any evidence from existence was a further denial of the identities of all those killed. Samuel Willenberg never stopped giving witness to those whose voices and being were ripped from the earth at Treblinka. For that I honour him and remember him as a man of courage and deep humanity.

Copyright Little Savage 2006

Talking to Cardinal George Pell: The Deeply Offensive and Insulting Stance of the Roman Catholic Church

St Vincents Orphanage as it looked in the 1990s

As a nipper, Belgo Geordie spent three years under the care of Roman Catholic nuns, the Sisters of Charity, first at St Vincents Orphanage in West Denton Newcastle Upon Tyne and later a brief time at their orphanage in Mill Hill. 

In 1960, I was four when with my two older brothers we were left at St Vincent's Newcastle by our dad. Nothing in my short life, which had its share of trauma, prepared me for life under this roof. At entry I was the youngest. From almost my first night, I had nightmares, two which like 'Groundhog Day' came in one guise or other each night, every night for many years and even long after I had left the place. But in the orphanage I would wake up screaming, being hit with pillows, the fists of older boys for being noisy, for waking them up. Every night for three years at St Vincent's (and long after) I wet the bed. Each morning, most miserably cold, I would stand stinking of piss next to wet, grimy sheets as the other boys passed me on the way down to breakfast, which was a cup of lukewarm tea and white bread and bit of jam or porridge. The nuns were big on public shaming.  The other boys? Liked a jab of a fist or elbow ter a shamed bairn as they went past. In three years I went from a typical outgoing Geordie bairn to a withdrawn, scrawny, scabby and isolated fantasist. I lived inside me own head, a terrifying' place to be with more make-believe than Disney - but none of it pretty or happy ever after. I did not make a friend in that place in the three years I were there.  My only escape was going into the outside world to attend school. 

Inside the dell 2015

This was Newcastle in the early 1960's,  a working class city with widespread poverty, still showing the effects of the Second World War, the loss of industrial work and the beginnings of slum clearances. One evening, I would ha been aboot six, I agreed to go with some older boys, teenagers, down into the dell. Evenings we were let out by the nuns to 'play', or more run wild. I thought they wanted to befriend me. The dell is a wooded ravine with a stream that ran down the side of the orphanage and went all the way down to the Tyne. 

There was an edge to being in the dell as it was where  boys smoked, had fights and wanked off. The safest place was to stay in sight of the orphanage windows where at least a nun 'might' be keeping watch. But I went willingly thinking I was being a big man. I was forced to fellatio them, then they buggered me and when finished threw me inta a patch of nettles. I was left lying next to the muddy track amongst the nettles traumatised. I know at the time I cried my lungs out. I don't know what I did afterwards. I remember only I did not want to go back in ta big house. I was shocked. I may have told the nuns I was hurt by older boys but if I did it was more likely I was told off for the filthy state of my clothes. By the age of six I already knew being a cry baby and tellin' the nuns owt was a waste of time as they did not much care and being a scab would have made my already miserable existence more miserable at the hands of bigger boys. I must have bled out of the anus because I vaguely recall being seen by a doctor, a South African with a red bald pate and the nuns saying I had a habit of putting sticks up me bum. And later I may well off, as aged seven, I came out of the daughters of charity run orphanages a wreck of a child., Lying and self harming. I have a memory in Newcastle I told the doctor; boys hurt me, as I remember he was sympathetic. A rare quality in that place. But it was known "I made things up." I don't think the doc saw it as his job to look into it further. In the sixties, people looked the other way and you didn't take much note of what any child had to say. Not compared to the word of a religious sister like!

Also in the Newcastle one of my other brother's was raped and molested by at least two lay brothers, helpers or teachers when taken on trips away from the orphanage. He was also molested by older boys in his time there. He was eleven and twelve. He also said there was nobody you could tell these things to and besides he knew being groped and felt up seemed to be part of what happened on these excursions. A priest had put his hands down my trousers to help me learn catechism. We were not alone amongst the boys in this hell-hole who experienced such things. It was shaming because by the rules of that time and place, you were weak to let it happen and in truth well into adult hood, I blamed myself for not fighting back against those bigger lads, or standing up for myself. As another survivor to this institution  told oos much later, to survive you had to stand up for yerself. An' I was never able to do that. Later I asked myself; did the nuns, the visiting priests, the local community, the doctor, visitors know what went on behind the walls of this home? Did the teachers at the juniors school I attended wonder at my strange and erratic, often sexualised behaviour. Didn't we look malnourished and allus perishin', poorly clothed, frightened?

My brother never acknowledged his experience until recently. Over the years I have talked with two men from this institution who went through similar experiences. And what of those who attacked me? What was their earlier experiences, what in the warped way of institutional care made them do what they did and not just to me, an isolated, bairn but to join in an attack with others on someone smaller, weaker. But then bullying on all levels, living in fear was common in the orphanage. There were those who thrived in this environment and were top dogs but not me, I sank and was fortunate to leave there not long after being raped. I do recall the whispers of at least one suicide by an older boy when I was there. It was rumoured he climbed out a window and jumped off the roof. The nuns said he was sleep walking. When I talk ter folk aboot this place and me time there, they don't understand tha the sexual abuse was not the worse of it. In both orphanages the culture of the daughters of charity were ter treat yer like yer were worthless. Yer were left ter fend for yourself against bigger lads and paedophiles that seemed ter be attracted ter places like this. Violence and the fear of it, bullying, being deprived of basic care including decent, sufficient food and warm clothing was routine. But worse was being made to feel deeply ashamed for being dependent on their charity, for being weak and not being grateful for the meagre care you received.

St Vincents closed in the 1970s. It had been running since about 1900, in Scotswood and then later where I was placed in West Denton. In the 1990s I went back for the first time to visit it, the building. It was then a dioceses office for the local Brand Catholic and out ta back, a woman's refuge. The women running this service were mint! Boot I made a mistake telling the priest running the office (about my own age) what had happened to me and how I was disappointed in the lack of duty of care shown by the nuns and priests overseeing this institution. After telling me nothing of the sort could have happened. I moost be lying. They never had a South African doctor! We had the best care paid for by the church. After all I was fortunate when no one else wanted me to be received into care. I was likely just looking for financial gain by bad mouthing the church for my own faults. 

I so badly wanted to hit his smug face. Likewise Cardinal George Pell.

This week in Australia it has been all about Cardinal George Pell giving evidence to the Royal Commission into Institutionalised Responses to Child Sexual Abuse. Mr Pell who holds a very important position within the Vatican Bank is too 'unwell' to travel back from Rome to Australia, even first class, to give evidence about what in his position of seniority within the Australian Catholic Church he knew about paedophile priests. But more importantly; what did he do to protect those who told someone within the church about the abuse they went through. His sick note accepted, he is now being questioned by video link from the Hotel Quirinale in Rome on 29 February 2016. It is with respect I acknowledge the people; survivors and people representing survivors; going to Rome to sit in the same room as Mr Pell, while he gives his testimony.

I also note the ire expressed by Mr Pell over the alleged leaking of police information regarding an investigation into allegations he molested alter boys early in his career as a priest. He is angry because of the leak and that this matter was dealt with then and showed no substance. With the greatest of respect Cardinal Pell, I would not give a bus ticket for the outcome of any investigation by the Church or even the police, that is if they ever got to see such a complaint in that era. Like the twat at the St Cuthberts (Catholic Care) Diocese (Denton, Newcastle Upon Tyne) I encountered in the 1990s, he knew better than me. Sanctimonious, self righteous, and full of importance but without compassion or understanding that the watch of the Catholic Church in keeping children safe is not an outstanding record of fact. The opposite, there is a history of cover-up across the world and rarely an admission of culpability even when some shit bag confesses and is banged up to rights. So these allegations are a matter which should be investigated by the police and given your long time position you would be better biting off a bit of humility and waiting for the outcome. It is hard to be accused of such a crime but equally it is hard for those who will never have that right to accuse or face those who molested/abused us. To this day I cannot name or identify the boys who raped me.

Maybe Cardinal Pell and Pope Francis may wish to consider that and what may be an appropriate response. Financial compensation is about addressing the damage to lives partly lived through events such as sexual abuse. But it is more the emotional, apologising to the person and accepting responsibility of the harm done. Look those people in the eyes as you give evidence Mr Pell and be sure to tell the truth-after all you have devoted your life to a religion where that is supposed to be a core principle.

See article in Guardian Australia: David Marr: http://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2016/feb/26/the-cardinal-and-the-royal-commission-the-questions-george-pell-must-answer?CMP=share_btn_tw

And St Vincents? Well, I went back with Mrs Belgo Geordie last year (2015) and it is now the Alan Shearer Centere.                                                                                                                                                             The ghosts of lost children are truly at rest. It provides supported accommodation for people with significant disability and respite for carers looking after those at home also with major disability requiring often 24 hour care. The staff are gorgeous, compassionate - it is now a place of healing run by people with hearts and souls - living the vocation as it is. You might want to visit Mr Pell, you might learn summat. As for Mr Shearer, a big manly Geordie hug to you for being the person you are. I liked you as a footballer but as a man who has turned a place of pain into an oasis of decency is no small thing. For that Big Al I cannot thank you enough. Boot, I still think you retired a year too early like...

6 March 2016: Postscript Post Pell: Smoke and mirras Mr Pell! Yer may believe you were truthful and yer church think you gave evidence with dignity while under sustained attack. But that were bollocks! For a clever man you made that many Freudian slips that should have had a barra full of psychiatrists reaching for the pill pot and straight jacket. Fact: Yer did not exercise adequate duty of care. When paedophilia was raised with you, you buried it deeper than a dinosaur bone because as you honestly stated: "You were not that interested"! Yer were only interested in the appearance of the Church you serve, first and foremost- puttin' that in front of the rights of nippers to not be abused. Your watch was not a series of coincidences but a raft of reasons for looking' the other way and doing' nowt.

Your evidence was a disgrace. Boot you were a creature of your time, a time when stories from kids of being fiddled with were generally not believed- as we were told in those halcyon days- kiddies lie but priests, well they can only tell the truth and if they've done bad we can allus save 'em by sending them down the line - to carry on doing' stuff that were not that interested in But lets not involve the police - they're bad for business and just get hold of the wrong end - we can sort it in house. Aye, I don't doubt you feel some regret, some remorse but not enough to not blame everyone else for not telling you -when it was in your job description to know and as you went up the greasy crook - do summat to stop it.

So as you return to your day job of counting the Vatican's shekels - consider, the Commission will make its findings and they are likely to  weigh and comment on your reliability as a witness.  In a secular setting you may not get a Vatican endorsed thumbs up. You may yet be held to account for the veracity of your evidence and your lack of comprehension that as a senior official you had a responsibility to guard the life and well being of all of those under your care. In my view Mr Pell you are a failure as a human being!

Later: 
Aye well, I were gobsmacked when the dark prince of the choorch were himself found guilty of sexual abuse. Tha' he is din' sum prison time as I type in February 2019. Tha they sat on verdict fer months so Pell could have his knee done is a disgrace. Like the Vatican still not handing files on child abuse ter polis.  If nowt else my hope is this verdict brings some solace to those abused under care of the catholic church - I know fer me, it feels summat like joostice.

Aye, he got out on appeal in April 2020. Sum of his more rabid supporters see this as a victory. I say reflect on this and ask fer the release of the full transcript from the Royal Commission on George Pell. Reflect that finding sexual abuse charges standing oop ter scrutiny 'beyond reasonable doubt' is near impossible. If yer don't think kiddy fiddling were widespread practice in this church and let to run with no punishment, no responsibility ter stop it or care for those abused. Then I pity you. And reflect the churches deep pockets bought Pell the best silks ter argue his appeal. Level playing field? I think not. 

Boot, total respect ter the man who were brave enough ter raise these charges against Pell and his dignified response ter this outcome. He said he is not defined by Pell. I would go further, nor by the catholic church, its hierarchy including current pope. They should be ashamed boot cannae see their ongoing collusion is reflection of their lack of moral core. A club for men behaving badly, why should we be surprised? They appear ter have learned nowt!

Further postscripting May 2020: It has been a hell of a weekend in Belgo Geordie household. I came across the following magnificent blog site "Broken Barnet" with two pieces on other orphanage I were in in Mill Hill, London. It toorns not it were also a St Vincent's run by daughters of charity! (Or charitable sisters fer doing harm). I thought all these years it were St Joseph's, which toorned oot ter be a nearby bible school for catholic missionaries being prepared ter be sent oot ter convert the 'heathen'. A cooking pot and carrots vicar? Nae, St Vincent's Mill Hill were another version of one oop in Tyneside. Mrs Angry has two excellent pieces on torture on bairns as promoted by the catholic choorch as summat tha makes the man or woman prepared fer life ter come.

Aye, well if that were not enough, Mrs Angry's blog site pointed me in direction of the equally impressive Scottish Inquiry into Child abuse and a report on the homes in Scotland (and in particular Smllum Park) also run by the sadists of charity. It were like reading the story of me and my brothers, the voices of others who had been through the same shite at the hands of an uncaring bunch of sanctimonious evil-doers - acolytes of Pell's Army. Hang yer head in shame catholic church and yon bugger who is current pope. If yer had a speck of decency yer would be on your knees begging oos bairns fer forgiveness. Yer would be asking what could yer do ter help those yer allowed ter be damaged in ways that were cruel. They, we, were bairns!

If that were not enough I found oot all three of oos brothers who were in St Vincent's were sexually abused. Aye and that is in context of every other form of abuse that were allowed to go on there as a 'duty of care.' My oldest brother, a fighter, was sent to a remand home from St Vincent's because the nuns could not manage him. At this remand home he was held down by older boys and raped. He only ever disclosed ter me other brother the once in 1967. Fer him who fought everything, the shame of speaking of it were too mooch ter bear. He committed suicide by hanging hiself ten years ago. Me other brother lives in poverty due ter long term chronic fatigue. Survivors of abuse seem prone ter immune system conditions. The demons in his childhood are percolating outa of him as he nears the end of his life. Im trying ter support him while holding myself together at same time.

My brother and I made a submission to the parallel UK inquiry. At least it is now on public record.

Choorch! Der yer really care a spuggy's wet fart aboot the damage yer caused on yer watch? Der yer heck! Yer'd rather spend money on likes of Pell. Likewise message ter Pell's supporters. WAKE OOP TER YERSELVES - its oos that yer should be supporting and owt that will help prevent this happening again. Boot nae, keeping bairns safe were never yer thing when yer can kiss the rings of the illuminati.

I end by saying yer didn't beat me. Ter quote the brave man who took Pell ter his day in court and a brief spell in jail "You do not define me!" Likewise for me, Ahh am still standing strong! A proud and fierce Geordie. The report from Scotland let voices oot ter whisper their story into world. Brave, courageous stories. Me and my brothers stories were confirmed. The culture of the daughters of charity was not a one off aberration in Scotland but repeated across a number of their homes. woven In these other courageous stories  we saw ourselves as bairns. We know now we were not alone in what we went through and though many turned away, chose not to see. Yer canna take away what we went through despite trying ter silence oos by telling oos nowt happened.

Aye I went oot ter beach this weekend ter walk and reflect the world is a better place than St Vincents, the Daughtters of Charity, the Society of St Vincent de Paul and all the St Vincent's orphanages and schools. I had Mrs Belgo by my side. The power of the mighty ocean before me and it were summat special, this world of cloud, storm and sea without god. And if I howled from deep inside it was because despite them I am alive.

https://wwwbrokenbarnet.blogspot.com/2013/01/growing-up-in-broken-barnet-making-of.html

Further reading: Look up on web: Scottish Child Abuse Inquiry. Case Study no 1. "The provision of residential care for children in Scotland by the Daughters of Charity of St Vincent De Paul between 1917 and 1981, with particular focus on Smyllum Park Orphanage Lanark and Bellvue Children's Home.

October 2018 and based on evidential hearings. A number of former nuns and others were charged with offences of neglect and abuse from this part of the inquiry.

 

George Pell: His death was announced on 11 January 2023 and before the rush of those Conservatives calling for the man ter get a sainthood - remember his legacy

https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2023/jan/12/george-pell-what-the-five-year-royal-commission-into-child-sexual-abuse-found

Medicare, competition and privatisation: The Australian way

Says it all...the greedy stealing from the needy...good onya socialist alternative!

Grumble, grumble...to quote Laughing Lenny "I ache in the places I used to play*". Its a booger getting' awld! Not helped by Sydney Trains going into their rolling decade of weekend train disruption for that euphemism "track work".  So buses into city were a car park experience meaning we missed Bill "the Inspirer" Shorten's speech for which he was justly heckled. Think about growing a pair of balls Bill man. Nippers in detention is just wrong! Wrong! WRONG! I know you struggle to find a moral compass from fence sitting in case you lose red neck votes boot! Until you stop sounding' like a carpet salesman at a real ale convention, people are going to see you as, well... space filler with positional sound bite syndrome. In case your folk are not tellin' you, people are not listening, boot they are paying attention to the Greens instead. Socialists should be worried. In whatever way you want to peer at it the Greens are not a party of the left, they have left leanings and are taking a lead in areas where Labor has frozen into paralysis. The Greens may morph and are showing' signs of doing' so, into a movement (particularly the younger ones) where they will capture what is often dismissed as a radical agenda. -A party of the people, for the people, focussed on basic issues such as social justice, indigenous rights, universal access to health care, education, housing, refugees and internment etc. And a movement wanting to break the chains free of the influence of capitalism's latest stalker-Trojan Horse 'privatisation is good' 'privatisation does it oh so much better!' And how do we know? Because every day we are told this despite the stories of yet more private providers going arse up having spent public cash to achieve bugger all. But some how we still all believe the mantra 'Competition, any competition is good'. Government services and the Unions are just Soviets waiting the opportunity to take over etc...It is a sad day union numbers are dropping in Australia when working conditions are being gradually pulled back because we need a more flexible work environment. Bullshit on that one!

A Green speaking to rapturous reception

So on a sunny, hot and humid Sydney Saturday afternoon 600 plus people turned up outside the Town hall to register their opposition to yet another version of opportunity assets strips. Medibank sold off and already showing profit but looking at numbers for that pipe dream you have to take note of the job cuts...and I'm picking it was front line staff-not salary rich senior managers. Now the current governing mob want to pass on further costs of pathology tests on to the consumer (me and you) and if we can't afford it, too bad as the pollies and the richer folk have private health insurance. (Be warned-not that this has been effective for the middle classes in the USA-of which we seem hell bent on taking their most disastrous economic experiments such as casual labour, call centres, uber competition-and although demonstrated as failures for growing a cohesive society-hey, it makes someone a shit load of money before turning belly up and sinking. Keep em lean and starving and they will work for a few dollars an hour says President Trump!)

Ken Canning speaking from the heart again

But as the Ken the passionate indigenous speaker said let us be clear of where these cuts will have the most damaging effect. On the poor. And who are the poorest people in Australia? The indigenous people. This does not address closing the gaps but rather is yet another plank of genocide because as a consequence of the changes people will die. Unnecessarily die. Yes, we can all point to being given tests we didn't need. God knows, I have gone through a few speculative, fishing trip type tests recently but like doctors visits, if people stop using them (or going) because of cost-they will get sicker and when they need intervention it will be expensive, maybe not possible or too late. I can put my hand heart and say this won't make a fart on the lives of white middle class men across Australia (the representative body who control most of what we do one way or t'other-if you disagree look at who holds meaningful power here in business, politics and sporting codes). But women (pap/cervical), indigenous and those expected to keep working in crap jobs past seventy, past reasonable health expectations - to make ends meet-they will bear the brunt despite the sanctimonious twaddle of the health minister et al -who will niver ha' ta face choosing payin' for a test or payin' a bill or buying food. This is nineteen thirties stuff and it freezes me marrow we are back to this pre welfare state, blame the poor and grind them down while increasing their numbers.

Eee oop, its the wee lass from CPSU

It were good to see in this rally's turn out all ages and a fair number of unions making themselves seen and heard. Impassioned speech as we arrived from the nurses union-go you good things-given you are at the coal face-you deserve to be heard and listened too. The fact the speaker was an old fashioned rabble rouser helped lift spirits after what most who saw Mr Shorten speak said was a media refined, defined and sucked dry piece of piffle.  Then there was an impassioned call to union arms by the very competent Nadine Flood whose union CPSU is involved in a royal battle to keep the Federal Public Service honest and from turning into John Lloyd's just vote yes poodles. And there were a sprinkling of MUA-good on the lads and lasses who demonstrate time and time again that social justice is a broad agenda. There was, as has been the case recently on a number of marches significant visibility absences such as Fireys, Ambos and police (other than those sent to keep an eye on things). Likewise, although socialist alternative were out in force (as with the Greens)-I didn't clap me eyes on the usual contingent of dressed in black anarchists.

Of course Sydney Wanderers sent their reps along

So, the guts of this is this is the thin edge of privatising Medicare by stealth. Medicare is the Australian system which makes medical care in Australia accessible to all but particularly those who don't fit private health care models. Cuts in pathology tests will lessen the effectiveness of health care allied professionals to do a consistent, comprehensive assessment of people's health-removing the ability to diagnose early and treat cheaply. It will also lead to job losses by the use of the crudest equation-less tests ergo less jobs. This will lead to a loss of experienced and trained staff and limited access to specialised services. Then if this gets through, the next step is to privatise! Privatise-giving business and profit model driven buccaneers public tax vote monies to fuck it all up.
And of course today Sunday 21 February 2016, 10 to 12 thousand people marched to protest the "Lock Out" laws. Self interest anyone? I mean, good on you for getting out and protesting summat you have a passion for. But reflect. The biggest supporters of the lock out are nurses, doctors, hospitals, ambos, police-in other words- those cleaning up your mess. And think of the finger of big business (the alcohol trade and clubs) who have their finger up your bum. The reality is alcohol fuelled violence was not lessening, so come up with a solution and for fucks sake not its the Australian way/right to get bladdered and behave, well badly as I heard one muppet say on the telly when asked why they were out protesting.
So well done one and all who turned up on the Stop Cuts to Medicare marches across Australia on Saturday. Follow up on www.nswnma.asn.au/get-involved/save-our-medicare and www.unionsnsw.org.au about that radical leftie agenda called 'Build a Better Future'. Enjoy the pictures.
* Leonard Cohen from"Tower of Song"

What a rabble! Kia Kaha!